not being able to update this shit because i dont know where to start.
i feel like everyone wants something from me. Anything. I'm tired, I'm so tired. My brain hurts, my body hurts, my heart hurts. I've learned something, again. Just because I may feel like theres no one in my life, doesn't mean theres no one left to hurt. In reality, the person I've hurt the most isnt around to hurt anymore and I honestly know now that it's hurt me much deeper than I knew. The truth is, I'm hurting a lot of people right now, and I cant seem to figure out how to get out of this. None of this was ever me, I dont know how I got here but I'm so stuck.
Its hard for me to remember how i felt before, when before i was doing nothing but living off how it was before. Time doesnt heal any pain, time just covers it. I'm so fucking tired, I could write a million times over. Im tired, I'm tired, Im so tired.
It was never about getting what I want, I've learned how easy that really it is for me. In the past 7-8 months I've gotten more than I needed. More than I had before, and in the same way less than I ever have. For what? to prove that I could? I'm tired.
Maybe I do need that push, I dont know right now. What I do know is whoever its going to have to come from isnt around. I'm not feeling anything anymore. Im not thinking before I act anymore. I'm just.... numb.
2 comments:
Hope one day you will retrieve the feeling. Hang in there...it will get better. Sometimes, when you're that tired, you need to make a get-a-way...find peace.
Dang, this is such a neat blog. It's so inflective without being, for lack of a better word, selfish. Its great.
Post a Comment